Pre Deepavalli and I am wondering about gifts, about rituals about people...Sometimes the whole thing seems senseless, the amount of work involved, the trips to shops and the buying of sweets...And the children? In this case my grandchildren..These days they are blessed (?) with everything money can give them so you can only give them your time, your love and small things which only grandparents can give.
I show my love through the food I cook. Special food on special occasions and yes for special people.
In the old days I used to literally moan at the thought of Deepavalli, such a load of things to do, and all by oneself. And the returns were not every encouraging. My husband asked me a simple question..is it really worth it? And once I decided to cut out the drudgery part of it, it is more enjoyable, really!
In the old days, rituals were created so that you could bond as a family, working together, sharing laughs as you bathed the gods, placed kumkum on their foreheads, sang as you worked, strung flowers which you grew in your garden, and so on.
Today we carry the rituals like a big burden. The children have flown the nest. Nuclear families are more the rule than the exception. And we women carry on bravely trying not to whimper.
I suggest we change with the times, and enjoy enjoy! No one is going to question you.Do whatever you can, whatever you enjoy doing. If decorating the puja room, welcoming Lakshmi gives you pleasure go ahead and do it, but dont be allday at it. If making athirasams is a big chore, skip it. cross the line and order from outside, there are enough sweetmeat stores to sell these for you. Even if you are all by yourself, no children around, light those oil lamps. When they flicker and shine you realise that life can have a glow if you wish it.
Go out and meet people and give what you feel like giving for this is the season of love and sharing. Write to people you cannot see, see if you can through SKYPE as I do, and thank God that we live in this day of technology which gives us glimpses of a family who choose to live in alien lands.
dont crib, dont grumble, just smile and your life will be lit up and you will exude warmth and good vibes to everyone around.
We used to have open house and about 50 people having brunch in our home. I used to make dosais and puris hot from 7 in the morning to about 11.30. At the end of it I used to be so pooped. I dont do it anymore, because I am getting older and my body needs rest. But we get invited out. By youngsters who have not forgotten what they ate at our table. so I count my blessings again.
Wish everyone a Happy Deepavalli!
