When I heard that member couple of our Gymkhana Club took to
a Retired People’s Home like ducks to water when their maid of several years
standing abandoned them, I gasped with disbelief. Confronted with the topic of
“maids” at every social gathering, I used to be glad that I didn’t have any
complaints to air. However, quite recently when my own faithful maids moved to
an inconvenient distance, and regretfully gave in their notice, I realised how corroding our dependency on
domestic help could be.
Worst hit when I was hospitalised, the household just didn’t
function.. And to come home to dust and disarray was a chilling prospect. Our
whole lives change when the maids quit, without a by your leave. For one who
prided herself on holding her maids ad infinitum I have had the largest turnover in the last
three months, sometimes at the rate of one every two days despite trying every
trick in the book. The fastidiousness of
sticking to a pecking order, what to clean when, and giving those inaccessible
corners a lick with extra soap and water, and changing water for swabbing with
every room have all gone with the wind. You have to pretend the cobwebs don’t
exist unless they hang like seaweed in long dusty tendrils. The bathrooms don’t
get an extra wipe, and if you slip ma’am that’s your lookout, ....you see you
have to be careful. Pay scales have sky rocketed, and admittedly the cost of
living has gone up. You are willing to pay for it but it does not meet with
their expectations. The women demand
wages by the hour often bordering on the ridiculous.
There are some working maids who, loth to work in your home
produce a stream of women you could interview and ultimately engage. You wonder
why they are so obliging till the maid herself tells you that the procurer is
an unofficial agent. One woman took umbrage at my asking her if she was an
agent, but all the same she said she did expect a generous tip for her helpful
spirit.
The characters I got are worth fleshing out for future use in
a forthcoming play or a novel. Mops are of course in and if you as much dare
suggest they wipe the floor with a nice
swab cloth, they look at you as if you are demented. I have a collection of
mops in my broom cupboard as each maid likes her own brand. No use adding Lysol or cleaner to the bucket
of water, as it is only one dip and the entire house is swabbed with it.
The cutest of maids I have had is The Duo, who defy any
suggestions of Hindu-Muslim differences. Rajeshwari is a staunch Hindu, and
Shakila a dyed in the wool Muslim. They would only work as a pair, one for
cooking and one for the cleaning work. “How can you employ a Muslim?” ask some
orthodox friends. “Arent they human beings? And when I preach about secularism
in my writing there cannot be any duplicity, I have to set the trend...” I say
a tad defensively. Shakila a giggly young woman with flowers dripping all over
her sari would arrive in a burqa which she would carefully remove in the
privacy of my utility assisted by her
friend Rajeshwari. It didn’t matter that the cook got paid a higher salary.
They would share their earnings equally. They worked as a team and left for
home together. The Duo lasted only for three whole days. When Shakila injured
her ankle, Rajeshwari was with her nursing her in hospital! When one was absent the other would take off
as well. That was the end of the conjoined twins as far as I was concerned.
Stay-at –home maids are dreams from the past, even if you
have an elderly person at home who does not require nursing, just someone to
keep her company and attend to her needs. There are no takers despite an offer
of a fat salary.
What is the solution? Take a leaf out of the book of your NRI
children. Change your lifestyle. Resort to one dish meals.
I have several recipes for meals in one. Reena could help us too! Stop
entertaining at home. Why should you when you can relax at the club without
having to sweat over preprations? Our home has always been “open house”..I even
had house guests when I was convalescing. Forget it, close the door and never
mind if your friends think you have suddenly become inhospitable. If they do
they were not really your friends. Get over your paranoia for cleanliness and
order. ( I am trying very hard believe me) And if you get the maid of your
dreams, pamper her, increase her salary in fits and starts, and though you need
to be firm, overlook her idiosyncrasies and whining.
Be on good terms with your watchman, and if need be your
neighbour’s watchman and the roadside ironing people. This group is the richest
source of producing maids or drivers. The catch however is that they will fix
the salary and if it is as high as they can negotiate, they take a cut from the
working woman! Being street smart is the key to survival, and it is a question
of increasing demand and diminishing supply. Stop complaining and moaning,
because we Indians are a pampered lot,
who have been slowly stripped of the luxury of slaves. Accept the situation
gracefully and revamp your life, though I know it is so so hard.
And last but not the least, if none of this works and you get
worn out and nervous by the day and find your pressure rising, and you are a
senior citizen, just seriously consider
shifting to a retired peoples home. You won’t have to worry about housekeeping
or cooking or looking for a maid to order...
