JUST LOO..KING
Our parents inculcated in us the
habit of visiting the bathroom before we went out...a habit which has carried
right into our adulthood. A question of practicality, then and now....
bathrooms are not conveniently positioned and reachable in the most urgent of
situations. For the male of the species
large expanses of open spaces provided ample scope for bladder spurts. Today
those very spaces have shrunk leaving the men no alternative but to look
around.
During our various travels round the
world, it one did not have to rush to
the toilet just when we were about to leave. The number of toilet signs one
read posted were heart warming. Every mall had a loo, so we could spend hours
loafing, comforted by the thought that a
clean bathroom was at hand.
Did you know that the toilet with the
flush cistern is only about 100 years old, and it was considered then, one of
the marvels of modern technology and a simple way of removing human waste! About 60-70 years ago old homes had to use
improvised methods where conservancy workers removed human waste from outside
the toilet.
The California Institute of
Technology in the US won first prize for a solar powered toilet which breaks
down water and human waste into hydrogen gas for use in as fuel, in a
competition for next gen toilets to improve sanitation in developing countries.
It was a challenge set by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation which required
designers to develop a new sanitation model which hardly changed since Alexander
Cummings developed it more than 200 years ago.
What is the universal name for
bathroom? What we called bathroom became toilet because you did your toilet
there and placed your toiletries, which you used after a bath. When we
travelled outside India there were other names to boot. You had to enquire
where the restrooms were...did one rest there?
Or were they washrooms, certainly you didn’t go there just to wash, on
the other hand in a dry bathroom there is no water. And then of course there is the loo which
rolls off on your tongue.
The most valuable invention is the
health faucet, and God bless the inventor whoever he may be. I remember
encountering it for the first time years ago at an actor friend’s place and she
had already christened it “bum shower”.
The bidets are there, but are certainly not so effective. And you have
the “Hindustan commode” where one squats and presumably the most hygienic, and
very popular in France. The European commode widely popular which you
considered a private throne, and the reinvented Anglo Indian commode which had
dual purposes, a cross between the two.
About ten years ago we visited Manila
and were out on a picnic with our hosts.
We wished to make a beeline to the bathroom. None of the locals could understand our needs.
We tried every trick in the book, gesturing wildly as the urgency to find one
increased by the minute. At long last when we mentioned restroom, some kindly
soul pointed to a small lone building at a distance, but not too bad as the end
was in sight. Since I reached first, I gingerly opened the door which creaked
in an eerie manner and entered a dusty room. Lo and behold, right in the centre
of the room which was about 8’ x 8’ was
a potty, thankfully with a seat cover. When I looked around, there was no wash
basin in sight, no tap no water, no flush. Mercifully I had some wet wipes in
my handbag which I had the sense to carry, but my Indian habits die hard and I
couldn’t wait to get home!
Which reminds me...why does every
five star hotel boast of not just spotless toilets but ones devoid of
water? After all the hotels are based in
India where almost every Indian likes to wash however large or small the usage
might be. Can’t they have a health
faucet? If I have
dinner at a 5 Star restaurant, and I need to go to the loo, I have become smart enough to carry my glass
of water with me.. Sometimes I lament
the fact that my parents inculcated the cleaning-with-water routine even for
small jobs! Why do the men get off scot
free?
Most public toilets in India are
deplorable and either you brave them holding your nose and gingerly stepping
over puddles or risk urinary infection. Each time you board Air India aircrafts
the smell of dank urine reminds you that you are heading home. Travel first class in the train and you still
are confronted by dirty toilets, even dirtier toilet seats, and the balancing
act is quite dangerous when you are rhythmically rocking with every move of the
train. Please can we have those disposable
plastic seat covers which slip on every time you use the flush! If you are very
fussy, cut a wad of old newspapers in the shape of a toilet seat, but don’t
forget to cut a largish opening in the centre!!!
And remember, if you have to go, you have
to go....
18 August
2012